Gwonam
Gwonam (real name: Oppan Gwonam Style) is an old Hylian wizard who assisted Link on his journey to defeat Ganon. He is wise and knowledgeable; however, he sometimes displays a snarky attitude. As an aid to the king, he acts as an advisor to ensure that Harkinian doesn't make any regrettable decisions. He is very funny and loves making kids and grown-ups laugh. He is very rich and famous throughout his life, despite his downfall as a chef at Squadala Burger. He rose to fame again as a comedian. Biography Gwonam was born in Saudi Arabia on January 1st, 1938, under the name of "Oppan Gwonam Style". His father was a turtle, and his mother was an elephant. In 1950, his father, who was a turtle, divorced his mother, so Gwonam had a drunk, gay, stupid, snooty, crazy, weak, wimpy, nerdy, playful and immature monkey with rotten saliva, whose name is Eric Heo, as a father. Due to the fact that he had an elephant for a mother and a monkey as a father, Gwonam realized that he was being raised by animals, so he was very poor, until he won the lottery with over 9000 stacks of a googolplex dollars, making Gwonam filthy stinkin' rich. He started spending on whatever he wanted and needed, and he beat the crap out of his animal parents and left them. After that, Gwonam was adopted by a mega-gazillionare couple when he was 14 years old in 1952. In about eight years later, he attended the Squadala University in 1960, graduating as a businessman/entrepreneur in 1965. Gwonam opened a pizzeria in 1967, but due to the pizzeria being destroyed by bombers, the restaurant was shut down. Shortly after, Gwonam moved to Hyrule and got a job and citizenship at Hyrule Castle, and moved in with Ganon until he got back on his feet. About a year later the two wrote an album together called DIE, the album was a financial success. After they made a Christmas album, the fame got to their heads and after an argument, the friendship between the two ended. Using the extra money he made from working at the castle, he opened another restaurant called Squadala Burger. It only serves burgers. Business at the restaurant is very slow, and it is a very difficult challenge for Gwonam to keep it open. He decided to close down Squadala Burger and become a comedian. Several famous jokes like Gwonam saying "pizza" as "Pit-ha", telling people that they look like houses, shouting "I'M FIRING MY LASER!!!", much like Shoop Da Whoop does, saying "Don't make a mountain out of a molehill" and dancing Gangnam Style, makes Gwonam have his recent success as a clown or a prankster. Squadala For decades, it has been fully unknown just what Gwonam was talking about when he shouted "Squadala". It is likely that this was a prayer to his made up version of Allah. This would mean that he is possibly not a real Muslim and is only hiding behind his birth rights to get away what he says and does. Others say that it is the word he likes to say. The truth about Gwonam saying "Squadala" is that he likes to say it all day, and his favorite words are all the cuss words in all kinds of languages. 9/11 reference Gwonam is rumored to be under an evil organization that would destroy the world, although this is still unknown. Gwonam has joined forces with Morshu and King Harkinian, and his leader is an evil, mysterious alien cat-like monster known as Olivia the Cat, and there was once, in a futuristic city, he has re-enacted the 9/11 incident by throwing a giant explosive plasma bolt at a very large building and collapsing hundreds of other buildings, killing thousands and injuring others for days. This is further evident in the game "Photo Dojo", according to a guy who put Gwonam in the game and made a backstory for it (although it was not put in the Internet yet). Category:Characters Category:Characters - Male Category:Wizards